


Show Me The Love

by cjammin



Category: 1llionaire, ATM - Fandom, Khh, korean hip hop
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-09 17:18:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16454111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjammin/pseuds/cjammin
Summary: There were several reasons why Coogie decided to join Show Me The Money, but Shin Donggab aka The Quiett was at least ten of them.





	1. FIRST EP - THE QUIETT POV

**Author's Note:**

> Please know that this is intentionally a little cringey! I was lowkey forced to do this by Twitter... Just don't hate. Constructive criticism welcome uwu. Thanks to my friends for proofreading this mess. Since I prewrote most of this on my notes app some chapters will be short af!

“He really came!” The Quiett gasped and hid behind Changmo. “Of course he did”, the younger grinned and softly pushed the older man away from behind his shoulder. “You really thought he would pass this chance up?” “No.. no of course not. He’s here for the exposure”, the older man replied, defeat evident in his voice. He looked up at the stage in front of him and even though he was far away all he could see was Coogie. His smile was so bright that the lights in the room had trouble keeping up. He was looking at him and oh god he was so beautiful. A smile spread across his own face. *I probably look like an idiot*, The Quiett thought to himself. *Stop.Grinning.Donggab. Get it together!* But he couldn’t stop. His eyes were fixed on the young male who looked right back at him and didn’t stop smiling. “Are you in love, Quiett hyung?” A taunting voice asked from his right. He finally stopped staring at Coogie and looked for the owner of the voice. Everyone was staring at him and grinning, making it hard to tell who it had belonged to. It didn’t matter anyway. He laughed and shrugged it off and mumbled a quick excuse. Something about the lights blinding him and getting lost in his thoughts. Almost true, he thought to himself.

“Coogie which producer team would you wanna go to?” Swings asked, because of course he did. His ego needed that. *Please name me, please name me, please name me. Ah who am I kidding, he won’t.* “I’m a big fan of The Quiett hyung... he’s my idol...” Coogie said and smiled at him again. That damn smile. The answer caught him off-guard. His mouth opened slightly and a soft “oh” was all he could manage, followed by a shy giggle. He was acting like a 14 year old who was experiencing love for the first time and he had no idea where all these feelings were coming from. “Get it together”, Changmo whispered and nudged him firmly enough to make him jump a little. “I... I’m a big fan of Coogie too”, The Quiett finally said. “A perfect love story”, Code Kunst commented and The Quiett wanted nothing more than to punch him in the face for it. He didn’t want this to be weird for Coogie... but before he could think too much about it he was once again struck by Coogie’s breathtaking smile that truly rivalled the sun. “We look forward to your future rounds! And don’t close your heart to the other teams just yet”, Swings said as a means of goodbye and The Quiett felt his heart drop. Close his heart? Could he really be in his heart?? For the rest of the auditions he nervously stole glances at Coogie whenever he dared to only to find the younger male having his eyes fixed on him and shyly looking away the second their eyes met. The room felt heavy with unspoken words.


	2. AFTER THE FIRST EP - COOGIE POV

„You did so well“, a voice said from behind him. A voice he recognised immediately. He spun around on his heel and beamed at the man in front of him. „Thank you Dong- Quiett hyung“, he caught himself just in time when he saw Changmo standing next to him. A small smile appeared and disappeared on the eldest face in a split second. Maybe he had imagined it. „So you really planning on coming to our team?“ Changmo asked. „Yes... yes I’d.. i’d love to... if... if you’ll have me“, he stuttered and tripped over his words a few too many times. All the confidence he had built up was gone now that The Quiett was standing so close to him. „I... maybe I won’t even get that far“, he added and laughed an awkward laugh. „Don’t be ridiculous, of course you will!“ Changmo exclaimed. „Yes. I believe in you“, The Quiett added and smiled at him. 

// FLASHBACK // 

„I believe in you, Coogie. You can do this.“ The Quiett said from outside the recording booth and gave him a thumbs up. It didn’t help. It made him more nervous. He hadn’t expected him to be here. His actual idol. That he had maybe been crushing on forever. He didn’t want to admit it at first, but now there was no denying it. He bit his lip and smiled a small smile, giving a thumbs up back, showing the older one he was ready to continue. „Just breathe“, The Quiett said. How am I supposed to breathe when looking at you knocks the air right out of me... Coogie thought to himself, but just waited for them to start recording again. This time he perfectly lay down his verse. He wasn’t sure if the encouraging words had really helped or if he just wanted to get it over with, but when he was done he was met with wide smiles on Dakshood’s and The Quiett’s faces. „Perfect. You did it!“ Dakshood said. NO:EL jumped up from the couch and opened the door to the recording booth excitedly to let Coogie out and to jump in to do his part. „I.. I’m gonna go if.. if you don’t need me anymore“, Coogie stuttered. Dakshood smiled and nodded. „B-bye“, Coogie said quietly, eyes fixed on the ground.

„Can I talk to you for a second?“ The Quiett said and got up from his chair, opening the door for him. Coogie nodded and bit his lip, sure that the older male was gonna criticise him for his lack of skills. The older man led him towards a different room and closed the door carefully behind them. „Dakshood told me you haven’t been doing this for long....“ „N-no... started last year“, he mumbled in response, smiling shyly. The other man nodded and hummed. „You’re really really good already. I am in awe!“ And then he smiled. And it was so bright and so beautiful Coogie forgot where he was for a second. The whole world just stopped and then started spinning again three times faster. He couldn’t help but smile back. He caught The Quiett’s eyes darting from his lips up to his eyes and back again quickly. He stepped forward, just a little bit, enough to signal his interest, but not too far in case he was reading the signals completely wrong. The other man who had been leaning against the door, stepped forward until they were almost touching. Their faces inched closer to each other painfully slowly. „Quiett hyung...“ Coogie whispered. „Please... call me Donggab.“ Their lips were almost touching, yet they didn’t break eye contact. One of The Quiett’s hands found Coogies and intertwined their fingers softly. And then... the door opened and crashed into The Quiett, pushing him against Coogie and making them fall over. „Jesus“, The Quiett cursed. „Hyung I’m so sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here!“ „It’s okay“, he said hurriedly and got up, looking back at Coogie on the floor, not making any effort to help him up. „Have a good way home Coogie. You did well. You should try out for Show Me The Money this year. The audition deadline is approaching, but you have what it takes. Good luck.“ And just like that he left. 

// TODAY // 

„Thank you“, Coogie said and smiled back at him. „I’m glad you came. It’s good to see you again“, The Quiett said and reached out to squeeze his hand. And after that, as if nothing happened, he left.


	3. AT NIGHT - COOGIE POV

Coogie entered his apartment, threw his bag to the floor and slid down the door he had previously closed to sit on the floor. He could feel the SMTM chain he was hiding under his sweatshirt heavy around his neck. He touched it through the thin fabric and let out a deep sigh. He really made it. He didn’t think he’d even pass the first audition round, but here he was, with a fight money of 9 million won, putting him in third place. Out of all the rappers that showed up he placed THIRD. He couldn’t comprehend how it happened, but he didn’t have much time to think about it when his phone started buzzing. It was a text from Superbee. 

Superbee 9:13PM: “You wanna come out to celebrate?“

Did he? He wanted to make friends, but filming was due to continue the next day and he had to memorise his lines. He couldn’t blank. He couldn’t fuck up. Not in front of Donggab. Even thinking his real name still felt weird... he had only offered it once and in the heat of the moment, maybe he wasn’t even allowed... Thoughts kept swirling through his head and he forgot all about the text he had just received. Everything but The Quiett’s face was pushed out of his mind. Coogie bit his lip and allowed his mind to wander to all the sweet „what if’s“ that had occupied his lonely nights ever since he almost kissed him. Before he could give in to the sweet memories his phone buzzed again.

Superbee 9:21PM: „Don’t leave me on read man!“

Right. Superbee.

Coogie 9:22PM: „Nah sorry man I’m super tired. Maybe tomorrow?“

Superbee 9:23PM: „What a bore! But I understand, you need your beauty sleep for Quiett hyung xox see you tmrw!“

Coogie’s heart dropped. He was just playing, right? No one actually knew how he felt, right? It was all just a joke, because he said he’s his idol, right? Did anyone pick up on the subtle touch backstage and the smiles that were exchanged.. was the way his heart rate picked up every time The Quiett did as much as breathe in his direction that obvious to others? After all it could be that his heart pumping in record time was audible to everyone around him. Coogie took a deep breath and put his phone down. *He’s just playing. It’s a joke. Don’t reply or you will make it into something more. He’s just teasing. Relax*, he thought to himself, pacing through his small apartment. His gaze fell on the shower and he nodded to himself. A cold shower was just what he needed and afterwards he could concentrate on his lyrics. A solid plan. He took off his sweater and threw it on his bed, followed by the rest of his clothes and the chain that showed he had made it.

As soon as he stepped into the shower all of his worries washed away for a second. The cold water stream hit him unexpectedly hard and made it impossible to think as he was adjusting to it. There was only one image occupying his mind. The one image that had been there for months, a moment he couldn’t forget and wanted to go back to so badly. He turned the shower from cold to warm and leaned against the wall, sighing as the warm water streamed down his naked body. He could feel himself getting hard as he allowed his imagination to run wild once again. Kissing, touching and soft moans filled his head as he slid his hands down his torso, teasing himself before finally grabbing a hold of his erection. „Fuck“, he hissed as he started moving his hand up and down, imagining Donggab’s hands on him instead like he had every time he had touched himself after their encounter. He never lasted long when he imagined the older males hazel eyes looking into his and his soft lips leaving hot kisses all over his body. He craved nothing more than to intertwine their fingers again. It was the memory of this innocent touch that sent him over the edge every single time. He leaned his head back against the wall as he continued lazily stroking himself until every last drop had come out. He sighed a deep sigh and wondered if the other man ever thought of him in this way. The possibility made him tingle all over, but he pushed it aside for another session. After he had cleaned the shower from his short but satisfying adventure. He turned off the water and hopped out, drying himself quickly and pulled on new underwear.

He grabbed his phone and lay down on his bed to work on memorising every last bit of the lyrics he had prepared when he saw a text from an unknown number.

Unknown 10:03: „Coogie-ya, I had hoped to see you, but Superbee told me you wanted to work on your lyrics and sleep. I hope you have a good night and maybe you will come out next time? Don’t work too hard Coogie~ TQ.“

TQ?!?! Coogie yelled internally. Had he really missed his chance of hanging out with him again? After dreaming about seeing him again for months? „For fucks sake you’re so dumb“, he cursed at himself. All the happiness he had felt from their small interaction earlier faded into frustration. He opened his notes app and started writing it all out. Everything he felt in that moment just flowed out of him and onto his phone. He tried hard to not use pronouns to make sure no one knew it was about a man, or even worse, deduct that it was The Quiett he was writing about. After he had written it all down he checked the time. 1 AM. He had really been writing for three hours without realising it. He wrote enough to fill a whole album. *Is this how Taylor Swift sunbaenim feels?* he wondered in silence and put his phone down. He had always wondered how people wrote a thousand songs about the same person, but not anymore. He could write a hundred more without problem, but sleep was calling him. He looked at his phone once more, realising he had never texted back. He grabbed it, lay down under his blanket and opened The Quiett’s chat. „I had hoped to see you.“ The words were ringing in his head. „I had hoped to see you too“, he said out loud. It was not what he texted back.

Coogie 1:12AM: „Sorry I missed it hyung haha~ got to work on some new music tho. Hope you had a good night hyung~“.

He hit sent and then immediately panicked. Was that the right thing to say?? Was it WEIRD?? Could he still delete it? But the second he tried to delete a bubble showed up, indicating the older man was replying. „Fuck“, he said and stared at his phone screen, willing him to type faster.

The Quiett 1:13AM: „I really wish you were here...“

Coogie’s eyes widened. In a moment of clarity he screenshotted the message and only a few seconds later his gut feeling proved him right when the message disappeared again, having been deleted by the other man.

The Quiett 1:13AM: „Haha I’m glad you had a good night~ see you tomorrow Coogie-ya!“

Coogie sighed. He opened his gallery to look at the screenshot to make sure he hadn’t imagined the words that were occupying his thoughts. „I really wish you were here...“ It was right there. He hadn’t imagined it. He bit his lip, locked his phone and placed it next to him on his nightstand. When he closed his eyes a content smile was plastered to his face and sleep washed over him immediately as he recalled The Quiett’s unexpected confession.


	4. NEXT MORNING - THE QUIETT POV

*Fuck.* That was his first thought when he woke up in the morning. Memories from the night before came rushing back slowly. He rubbed his eyes and was about to get up when an arm wrapped around him. „Coogie?“ He asked and heard a soft chuckle. „Who?“ A woman’s voice asked. *FUCK*, he thought again and laughed nervously. „I said cookie... as a nickname. Cause you’re so sweet“, he made up an excuse, „you like it baby?“ He asked and turned to his side to look at the woman lying next to him. She smiled and moved closer, kissing him softly. He closed his eyes and sighed, pulling her into his arms. He didn’t really want to, but he couldn’t risk exposing himself. She was pretty, no question. But now he was almost sober again and he only longed for one person lying next to him. He didn’t care who he went to bed with as long as he would only wake up with HIM. That’s why he hadn’t let anyone stay for the past five months. But this time he had made a mistake.

The woman was on top of him now, circling her hips seductively, her lips still on his. *Fuck it*, he thought as his erection grew quickly. He pushed her off of him to the other side of the bed and smoothly slid in between her legs, lifting up the shirt she was wearing. His fucking shirt. He took it off of her and found her lips again. He had just discarded his underwear when his phone started ringing obnoxiously loud. Or maybe he was just too hungover. „Fuck“, he said annoyed and rolled off of her. „Just ignore it“, she whined, but to be honest he didn’t even want to. „I gotta take this, sorry sweetheart.“ He hadn’t even checked who it was when he answered.

„Yeah?“ „Hyung, where the fuck are you?? We’re supposed to start filming like.. NOW“, Changmo sounded stressed. „Fuck tell ‘em I’ll be there as soon as possible, I got someone here.“ „You’re really gonna fuck that girl from last night again before coming here?“ „No, idiot, I just gotta shower and see her out before I can come over.“ „Fine. Hurry hyung.“ „I will Changmo, I will“, he said and hit the disconnect button.

„Sorry love this was fun, but work’s calling.“ „Was that Changmo?“ The woman asked and giggled. He just nodded and got up, fishing her clothes from off the floor and threw them to her. „Get dressed please“, he ordered and she pouted. „Please, I really have to go“, he repeated, annoyance evident in his voice. She kept pouting but complied. He put his briefs back on, walked her out after she was dressed and gave her money for a taxi before closing the door behind her and leaning against it. „Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK“, he exclaimed as he rushed to the shower to at least clean himself up a bit.


	5. EP 2 RECORDING - COOGIE POV

„You’re really gonna fuck that girl from last night again before coming here?“ Changmo said and Coogie’s ears started ringing. Had he just heard that correctly? His heart sank and his stomach dropped. He tried to not make it too obvious, but he felt like he was gonna throw up. *The girl from last night? GIRL? LAST NIGHT? Fucking her? AGAIN?* His thoughts were running wild. Had he misunderstood the entire situation completely? Was The Quiett straight after all? Was he just playing with his feelings? Did he KNOW about his feelings and thought it was funny? Coogie was concentrating so hard on not crying right then and there that it took Changmo three tries to get his attention. „You okay there Coogs?“ Changmo asked and touched his arm, finally ripping him from his thoughts. „Haha yeah of course why wouldn’t I be?“ He laughed. It sounded fake and he knew it. Changmo didn’t seem to notice. Neither did the others gathered around them. Superbee laughed and shrugged, Nafla said: „Guess he’s just sad his mentor isn’t here... maybe you should follow his example and get a girl for yourself!“ Coogie laughed again and it sounded much more convincing this time. Maybe because the thought of himself with a girl was so laughable to him. „Maybe I will“, he offered and Loopy grinned: „Good for you! Come party with us tonight and we’ll be your wingmen. I’m sure The Quiett hyung would be more than happy to help his young protegé as well.“ *I’d rather fucking die*, he thought, but said: „Yeah I’ll see!“ 

Changmo laughed with the others and then wandered off to inform the production crew of the late arrival of The Quiett. Cause he was fucking someone. A girl. All the nice thoughts Coogie had last night came back at once and were ripped to shreds right in front of him. He took out his phone and opened his gallery to find the screenshot still open from last night. He had looked at it at least a hundred times since waking up. „I really wish you were here...“ The words seemed like a mockery now. His original sadness turned into anger. He immediately deleted the screenshot without thinking too much about it and shoved his phone back in his pocket. „Wanna wait for it to start inside?“ He asked the others who shrugged and nodded. Nafla threw the cigarette he had in the corner of his mouth to the floor and stepped on it to make sure it was out. „Smoking is bad for you“, Coogie said in an accusing tone, knowing he was just looking for someone to pick a fight with, but unable to stop himself. Nafla just chuckled and looked at him: „You sound like my girlfriend, be careful before I fall in love with you by accident.“ Everyone was laughing and Coogie sighed. A part of him was thankful to Nafla for not taking the bait, but another part of him was looking for a fight still. „That’s fucking gay, I’d rather die.“ „What’s wrong with being gay?“ Loopy asked and raised an eyebrow. *Shit*, Coogie thought to himself. He hadn’t expected any of them to actually question his .... joke? Before he could reply Loopy laughed and said: „I’m just playing man, it really was fucking gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay still, but none of us are so let’s not go there.“ „Yeah“, Coogie agreed. „None of us.“


	6. 1 VS 1 VS 1 - THE QUIETT POV

„Oh look who decided to show up“, Swings said and smirked as The Quiett entered the studio. „Shut up, Moon“, he shot back, still disgruntled from waking up next to a stranger and fighting a throbbing headache. „I’m sorry I’m late everyone, it was a hard night“, he apologized to the production staff and the rappers that were sitting around the room. „It’s okay hyung, we heard you had a hard morning as well... important business to attend to, huh?“ Superbee called from the stands. Everyone started to holler and whistle. He felt the heat rise to his face and didn’t know what to say. „Sorry, they overheard“, Changmo shrugged. „Everyone knows?“ He asked through gritted teeth. „I guess, word travels fast“, Changmo retorted. The Quiett immediately looked for Coogie’s face in the crowd. When he found it the younger man didn’t look at him. Not even in his general direction. His gaze was fixed to the ground as if his life depended on it. „Can we start?“ The production staff asked and The Quiett quickly averted his own gaze to concentrate on the producers explaining the battle round system to the judges.

„1 VS 1 VS 1?!“ Paloalto said. All the rappers nodded quietly. „Damn that’s tough, okay“, he concluded and the other judges nodded. „Are the groups set yet?“ Giriboy asked from his couch. „Yes the rappers decided on their battle partners yesterday“, one of the producers replied. „Okay let’s get this croissant“, Swings said. „Excuse me what?“ Nucksal asked, confused. „Let’s get this croissant“, Swings repeated slowly as if he was explaining astrophysics to a toddler. „It’s what the cool kids say. NO:EL just told me about it the other day! NO:EL, tell em!“ NO:EL nervously looked at Kid Milli who was desperately trying to hold back his laughter and failing miserably, little tears running down his cheeks. „It... it’s let’s get this bread, hyung“, NO:EL finally offered in a small voice. „Bread?! I was SURE it was croissant...“ „It’s „I dropped my croissant“ I think“, Nafla said when NO:EL looked around again with a desperate look on his face. Milli had lost it in the meantime and was on the floor, rolling around and laughing. „What’s so funny, Wonjae-ya?“ Swings demanded in an angry voice. The Quiett watched with an amused face as Kid Milli gasped for air and said: „Let’s.. let’s get this... this croissant....“ in between laughing fits.

The room slowly but surely joined in his laughter until even Swings wasn’t able to withstand it. The Quiett looked at Coogie who was laughing with Superbee sitting next to him. He sighed. *His smile is so beautiful*, he thought just as Coogie looked up and met his eyes, laughter stopping immediately. The older man swallowed hard at the expression on the younger boy’s face. A mix of anger, sadness and disgust was evident in his features. *I never should have sent that fucking text... I knew I was misinterpreting everything and I really fucked this up...* He looked over at Changmo who was watching him. „You okay?“ He asked. The Quiett nodded, cursing at himself quietly. „Your face tells me that you’re not okay, let’s talk about this later?“ Changmo offered and then looked away as if nothing had happened. The Quiett smiled a small smile. He was so thankful for Changmo and the way he could read his every mood. And he was beyond thankful that he knew when to not push it.

„Can you come here for a second?“ A loud voice boomed through the hall and the man it belonged to was pointing at him and Changmo. Coogie was standing next to him looking like he would rather die than stand in his spot. They got up from their couch and quickly walked towards the two men. „Coogie, The Quiett. Continue whatever it was you were doing yesterday. The people are gonna eat that up. They live for fanservice and we can spin it beautifully, it’ll look like you’re really in love.“ The Quiett looked at the man in disbelief and then at Coogie who had a shocked expression plastered to his face. „I don’t think that would make us feel very comfortable“, The Quiett said in a small voice. „It’ll help his career, isn’t that what you both want?“ „I... yes I guess it is“, he replied and waited for Coogie to say something. „I’m okay with pretending as long as it’s for my career...“ he said softly after a few seconds. It felt like a hit to his chest and just for a moment he had trouble breathing. The whole thing was just pretend to him and of course it was. And here he was having almost forced himself on to him a few months ago without even realising it... suddenly The Quiett was thankful for the interruption that had stopped him from kissing the younger man. Until now he had seen it as unfortunate, but realising the other had never wanted it in the first place and just went along with it to not mess up his career made him sick to his stomach.

The producer left satisfied and Coogie turned on his heel. „Coogie, wait“, The Quiett said, almost too soft to be heard, but Coogie stopped immediately and turned back around, his eyes staying glued to the ground. Changmo quickly excused himself. „I... I’m really sorry about my texts last night. I didn’t mean it the way it might have sounded. I just think you’re a cool person to be around and I really like your rap“, he said without waiting for Coogie to look at him. The younger not looking at him actually made things easier. He couldn’t face the look of disgust again. He never should have flirted with him in the first place... „All good“, Coogie replied and laughed a small laugh. It sounded fake. *Of course it sounds fucking fake you idiot, he’s stuck with you now and his career depends on you, he can’t very well tell you how he really feels*, The Quiett scolded himself internally. „I’m still looking forward to working with you.“ „Me too, Coogie, I really really admire you as a rapper, I want you to know that! Just.. nothing more than that“, he clarified, hoping the other male would believe it despite it being the most blatant lie he had ever told in his life. The younger boy’s eyes met his now, his facial expression was unreadable. „Of course not, hyung, I know that! This is strictly professional“, he said and offered a smile. „Exactly... good luck on your battle. I’m looking forward to it!“ The rapper didn’t say anything and simply nodded before turning around and hurrying away.


End file.
